I Love You
by Rainingwaters
Summary: When Remus finds out about Sirius, it's heartbreaking. RemusSirius slash, R&R please!


_Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I just worship them!_

_This takes place right after Sirius is taken into custody. Yes this is Remus/Sirius Slash! Sorry about any spelling/grammar mistakes, heh. Also, the flashbacks do not happen in order of when they occurred. Obviously, Lily and James are together in the first one, and not in the second. Read and Review please!_

Remus groaned as the doorbell rang insistently. He opened his eyes sleepily, and swung out of bed, feet touching the floor lightly. He glanced over at the rumpled sheets on the other side of the bed, and wondered where Sirius could have gone to this early in the morning. He trudged down the steps, pulling on his robe at the same time. Remus ran a hand through his hair and opened the door.

"Remus Lupin?" A sharp faced man with thick protruding eyebrows asked.

"Yes?" He frowned at the three men in suits.

"Were here to collect Sirius Black's things for evidence. I suggest you stand out of the way" he said, storming into the house like a tornado.

"W...What?" Remus said, confused. "What's going on? Sir, I demand you tell me what exactly is happening, before you go any further" The slight man stood determinedly in his way.

"Sirius Black has been arrested on charges of murder, assisting the enemy, and being a death eater" he snapped. "Now if you'll excuse me" the ministry man sneered, heading up the stairs, his two other agents following close on his heel.

Remus sat down heavily in his chair, staring at the wall hard. He focused on a photograph, hanging by the door. It had been taken in their sixth year of Hogwarts. It was by the lake... James was laughing and cursing Sirius as Sirius had charmed a feather to incessantly tickle him. Peter was hiding behind a tree, not successfully, and Remus was standing on the ground, looking at them all disapprovingly.

_"Sirius you ahhhh!" James burst out into another bought of laughter, clutching his stomach and doubling up giggling._

_Sirius snorted from up in the tree, where he was draped over a branch, lazily waving his wand in circles as the feather headed for James's nose._

_"Fuck you Sirius!" He half laughed half yelled. "I'm gonna –huff!- get you for ahhh! This!" he said, gasping for air._

_"Oh Sirius DO stop it!" Lily tossed her hair as she came into view, "And Peter, Oh, stop it all of you!" She cried as Peter hung onto the tree for dear life as he doubled up laughing at James's situation._

_"Oh but, Lily, it's so much fun," Sirius shook his black locks and grinned, finally letting up on the feather, and jumping to the ground._

_As soon as he could breathe again, James tackled Sirius, rolling him onto his back. "I told you I was going to get you," he laughed, pinning him down hard._

_Remus stifled a laugh from his comfortable position on the floor, until the whirling dervish that was James and Sirius collided into him, and suddenly he was scrabbling with all three of them, and Peter was laughing in the background, and Lily was shrieking and suddenly cold water washed over his face as the three boys fell into the lake._

_Remus's wet head broke the water, as he coughed up what seemed like half the lake. "Disgusting," he muttered. Sirius whooped and broke the surface of the water to collide in mid air with James, pushing him down under the water and then breaking the surface._

_Lily bent down to help Remus out of the water, as the other two boys continued to splash each other. He felt like a drowned rat. _

_"Right, that's it!" Lily sighed in frustration, wading into the water and grabbing James's arm, dragging him away._

_"She's got you right trained," Sirius laughed at him from behind. "Whupped like a little puppy." _

_"You shouldn't be talking, you filthy canine!" James stuck his tongue out._

_"I take great offense to that," Remus offered from where he was ringing out his shirt._

_"It's a pity he doesn't," James said, rubbing his arm where Lily had gripped it and pointing ruefully to the boy in the water, splashing and grinning and doing incessant back flips._

_"It's a good job it's a warm day today," was all Remus muttered, closing his eyes and lying down in the sun to dry off._

Remus was jolted out of his reverie by the phone ringing. He realized that the ministry was long gone, leaving him alone in his chair. He slowly got to his feet and walked to the phone.

"Hello?" He whispered into the receiver.

"Remus," the voice on the other end was grave, without the sparkle of mischief it usually contained.

"Dumbledore," Remus said, voice choking.

"I take it you've heard," his voice was grave.

"It can't be true. Sirius, a death eater? He wouldn't." Remus sounded confident. "It must be a mistake."

"The evidence is strong against him Remus. After he killed them-"

"Them?"

"Remus… It was James and Lily."

"Remus? Remus listen to me. Remus are you there?"

Click.

The phone dropped from Remus's shaking hands onto the counter top. He hung it up with a bang, squeezing his eyes tight.

_"James mate, just give it up!" Sirius laughed. "There are plenty of other birds out there, why do you have to chase after HER?"_

_James sighed mournfully, staring over at Lily's red head. "Remus, what do you think I should do?" He glanced over at his other friend, who was currently absorbed in a book that a boy his size shouldn't be able to rightfully lift._

_"Stop being an idiot," Remus answered without taking his eyes from the page._

_Sirius leaned over and snapped the book shut. "Stop being a bookworm." He stuck his tongue out._

_"Sirius. SIRIUS. Where's James gone?" Remus said, looking around. Then he caught sight of a black mop of hair heading towards a much better groomed looking red one._

_"Bloody hell, he's going to get himself killed." Sirius sighed. "Oh the mocking he will endure!"_

_"Sirius you are horrible," Remus said, getting up to go and try and save James._

_"Or maybe you're just too nice," Sirius retorted when the black mop of hair started running fiercely towards them, waving his arms in the air._

_"She's chasing him!" Sirius said excitedly._

_"No she's not you prat," Remus said. "Look, she's over there!"_

_"SHE. SAID. YES!" James panted as he came into view. "SHE SAID YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!" He pumped his arm in the air and stopped when he saw Lily looking over at him._

_"The world is ending," Sirius stated plainly._

The phone rang again. Dumbledore's voice came through the receiver, but Remus didn't hear him. He staggered up to their – no, his. His room. The werewolf collapsed on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

_"Remus WAIT!" Sirius cried tearfully as Remus stormed off. "Wait. Please. Let me explain!"_

_Remus turned and stared at his tearful face, his own eyes wet. "WHY SHOULD I BLACK?" The last name was like a slap to Sirius's face. "You… I can't even BEILEVE you! I knew I shouldn't have trusted you. I shouldn't have trusted ANYONE. YOU TOLD SNAPE. YOU NEARLY TURNED ME INTO A MURDERER," Remus panted. _

_Sirius felt like he'd been hit. Remus never, ever raised his voice. He rarely even showed he was mad. "Remus… Moony… Please just –"_

_"Don't. Don't call me that." He said, voice shaking with emotion. "I don't even want to look at you."_

_Sirius whimpered. "REMUS NO," he yelled at his back. "I love you," he whispered, sinking to the floor._

_Remus turned around slowly his chest heaving. "Then why do you keep hurting me?" He said tearfully, walking to the other boy._

_"I… Remus I never meant to, I never wanted to. It just slipped out. I don't know why I said it. He… he was just being so horrible about you. Slimy git, I wanted to make him pay," Tears streamed freely down his tanned face now. "Please forgive me," he said softly._

_"How could I ever not?" the tawny haired boy whispered huskily, kissing the other boy gently, soft lips meeting one another in complete forgiveness._

Remus pulled his knees up to his chest. He never let himself cry before. Now, sobs racked his body, wet, gasping cries, the kind you used to cry when you're a child, filled with snot and spit and tears, where you cry so hard that afterwards you feel like a puppet rag doll, unable to move. He collapsed on his bed, exhausted of tears, face and eyes sore.

"It's not true," He whispered. "I love you."


End file.
